Salutations,

I have decided to oppose evolution of superior M&Ms. When I buy a bag, I crush one piece in each hand, but I eat the one that lasts longest and return the crushed one to the gene pool., thus degrading the genetic stock of future candy generations.

Taking two candies between your thumb and forefinger, apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser,", eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When you reach the end of the pack, and are left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

There can be only one.

Sincerely,

Dr.Balal esq III